It’s been seven days and 21 hours since I turned 30. It feels a little weird and I don’t know why. Everyone around me is telling me ‘this is going to be the best decade of your life’ ‘you are now more mature’ ‘you know what you want’ blah blah freaking blah. All of this may as well be true, but what I know is that for me…a true non-believer in the 30th-birthday-freakout… the past couple of months leading to my 30th birthday have elucidated some concepts and perspectives that were possibly already there but acted as sleeper agents!! The keyword that ended up waking them from their sidereal slumber was (not the fear of getting old) but the realization that we’re not getting any younger…regardless of how young and perky we feel.
It sounds self-explanatory when you read it out loud…but try actually absorbing this and accepting the baggage it comes with. It’s a whole other story.
But where does the concept of judgement come in exactly?! Part of soul-searching includes and even necessitates judgment. Primarily of oneself. Unavoidably, however, the judgement of others is often close at hand, and most of us are almost always at the ready, sword-yielding, shield…holding? The most frequent use of judgement (of others) is probably the unconscious will to appease one’s ego and appear to be superior to, or at a better place than, someone else. And so the comparison game begins. Popular themes are personal fulfillment, professional progress, level of education, range of ambition (or lack thereof), personal goals accomplished, number of friends on Facebook? (I kid, I kid)
In between all this mess what really happens is that you start judging others based on your ambitions and your personal goals, and so the actual happiness of the other person becomes a distorted mirror of the expectations of your own self, seemingly unfulfilled by the person in question. In essence, you believe that what you want is what they should want, and if they don’t have it, how can they call themselves happy? Human nature, I believe, is to blame, as we are innately judgemental, self-absorbed, and selfish (different degrees of each ‘charisma’ being prevalent in each one of us).
Escaping this is not so much the solution as is embracing our naughty side and attempting to keep it under control. The funny thing is (no, wait, I hate euphemisms). The irony is that you end up ostensibly judging others with condescension and snarky remarks, while the truth is that, by the end of your personal session, the only thing you have accomplished is to scrutinize yourself. Tadaaa.
There’s no didactic intent in all of this. It is simply an attempt to awaken others, as much as myself, and steer them away of this calamitous cul-de-sac.